He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
