Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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