I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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