Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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