Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
