yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
