Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
