I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
