You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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