I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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