my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
