Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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