Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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