its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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