The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize