so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You ruined the universe
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
