Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
