Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
