Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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