You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
