i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
