Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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