How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
