butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize