Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
