member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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