Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
