Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize