this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
