K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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