Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
