you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have demons in me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
