I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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