Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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