My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
