You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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