just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
