we have officially lost it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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