Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
