Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
