At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
