just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
