Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
