And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
