:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize