"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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