if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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