sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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