He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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