I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
