apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
