Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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