I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
