I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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