Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
