Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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