hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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