I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
