I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
