I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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