You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
