It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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