...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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