i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
