We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
