My Higher Power is John Stamos
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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