i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
