There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
