tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
