You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
