You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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