In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize