if i can run in heels then i can drive
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
