I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
